his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
