i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
