If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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