It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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