maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Alive.
So much puke
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize
