I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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