another moral hangover. fuck.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
