The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize