I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
