party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
