Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
