my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
How does one acquire holy water?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
