Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
