We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
