U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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