I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
