he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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