A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
