i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
