i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize