things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
