just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
