That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Randomize
