Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
