She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
