watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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