you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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