just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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