Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
