Jerry, you need to find god
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize