I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
