Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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