i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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