it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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