The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
