what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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