does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
