Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
