She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
we're so committed to being not committed
why does every cop we meet know your name?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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