i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
She bit a glass in half.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
