It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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