If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
