i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
it's like heaven, but drunker
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
