dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Come share oat with me in your robe
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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