Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
