Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
