You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
