Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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