Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
