there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize