dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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