My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
