So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize