so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
