yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize