She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
