Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
We had sex on a dog bed..
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
