3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
