You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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