Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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