i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
