in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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