highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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