And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I didn't shave. On purpose
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize